The Football Rules of the Israeli/Palestinian conflict:
RULE 1: Israel has the right to play on both sides of the field, but the Palestinians can only play in their own half.
RULE 2: During the match, Israel has the right to build a wall anywhere across the field to enforce the above rule.
RULE 3: Should the referee ever whistle a foul against Israel he shall promptly be denounced as an anti-Semite.
RULE 4: The Palestinians are encouraged to shoot into their own goal. Players who refuse will be nominated as terrorists and will not be allowed to play.
RULE 5: For security reasons, Palestinians do not have the right to pass the ball to each other.
RULE 6: Israel can occupy any empty space on the field by bringing in a new player.
RULE 7: All Israeli goals are valid. Even those scored during the half-time break.
RULE 8: The Palestinians will only receive their sponsorship money if they agree to let Israel win.
RULE 9: The Palestinians can only play in flip-flops.
RULE 10: There will be no goal post on the Israeli side.